Had the second Moon Reflected in the Water 100 days Webinar with Dosho and other participants. We are digging deeper into Genjokoan and once again received the question “What was it the monk saw that he expressed by bowing?” as part of the homework.
Dogen’s language is beautiful but the text is based on paradoxes which puts a strain on the brain used to dualistic thinking. This is when I make an effort and the brain “hurts” as when I do some brain gymnastics. Sometimes when I drop the effort, it happens: for a short moment the mind is able to reconcile how “there is delusion and realization” and “there is no delusion and realization” at the same time, this both/ and, and thinking itself stops. The experience is a lot like when I gaze into she sky for a while. There is this expansion of the mind that embraces all and which knows no differentiation. Then something happens and the fear of losing my self takes over – I get back to either/or state where one thing is always understood in relation to another, the thinking my mind is so used to.
Still…. the “blossoms fall” and “weeds grow”. There’s comfort in that. Even the ugly and mundane are included in this universe to which Dogen invites us. Even the either/or (dualistic) thinking is part of it. 🙂